The Dreaded Rebirth

Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising every time we fall. – Confucius

I decided a little while ago I was going to let my hair grow back on my head and face. If you know me well, you know my hair doesn’t grow evenly at all which is part of the reason why I’m doing it. Some of us would wish that all growth is linear but it’s not; some things sprout quickly, others slowly and yet some things don’t grow at all. I found contentment in relinquishing control and letting things be which can be difficult for a visionary. We live in an age of manifesting where everyone has a mantra; a manifesto if you will yet somehow The Man still thwarts our plans.

Security against Loss

2020 has proven to be challenging on many fronts. Repeated catastrophes have resulted in unprecedented losses in business, friendships, family, and character. I won’t mention names here lest my heart becomes heavy again. It’s difficult to not feel distraught when you are powerless to comfort those you care deeply for. The past month and a half I’ve been doing a deep study to reassess the decisions I’ve made and whether or not they aligned with what God demanded of me. While it was reassuring to discover the path I’ve taken is valid, it’s overwhelming to discover your own inadequacies while learning of His will. Alas it’s been said that God will never call you to something that he will not grace you to accomplish. The journey of complete restoration is a compelling promise that has kept me from giving up.

Revisiting Old Fears

One of the main reasons I value isolation is that it encourages resourcefulness, self-sufficiency, and innovation. I also discovered hidden miracles in the process, a long story if I should tell you when I first learned these things. Nevertheless, I learned that practicing isolation without integration falls short of the community and fellowship of Spirit that I’ve enjoyed in privacy. My understanding led me to believe that courage was needed to peacefully strive for comradeship in society. Considering the dangers I faced spiritually and physically; recounting my close encounters with death, my near shipwreck of faith and sanity, I have no one but God to trust in see me through the coming perils. It is said that perfect love casts out all fear. May this love be the breastplate of my heart in the heat of battle.

Awe of a Savior

So when someone asks me why I believe in Jesus as smart as I am I can tell them like many others – on the surface I have no real reason. Seeing how irrational, pointless, and meaningless life may seem, there is more reason to be cynical than cling to virtue. However when I look back at all I have endured; all those experiences that can’t be explained away through science, the complexities that aren’t relieved through philosophy, and the harmonies that cannot come through religion; when I found my back against the wall and that Old Dragon stared at me in the eye; when he breathed his fires upon my neck and asked me why I was still alive, something rose up in me that left a lasting impression – a defiance of the sentence of death over my life; I LIVE BECAUSE JESUS LIVES IN ME!  And over time things began to make more sense; I delighted in wisdom and knowledge my whole life because of who was in my bosom.

Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. Jn 14:6

And to know that perhaps all that I have experienced, everyone I’ve ever encountered, all that I’ve ever desired was Jesus behind a mask; to imagine that Jesus is without blasphemy the sinless sinner who made atonement for us. What an interesting take on the true influence of the Corona Virus! It is damn right ugly, yet gloriously beautiful and utterly satisfying to the soul of a Virgo. For it is honest to adopt a Solipsist view in seeking for truth, but one must reckon with themselves whether it is possible to embody veracity.

For it is honest to adopt a Solipsist view in seeking for truth, but one must reckon with themselves whether it is possible to embody veracity.

Invitation to Live Again

So here we are today remembering a tragic event, and our resilience to overcome adversity. Here I am remembering my birthday, and how many years went by before I could happily celebrate it again. This year have made bouts of heaviness for many of us as we have been starved of connection, of honesty, of fulfillment, and purpose. I would know because I’ve been there too, experiencing it right alongside of many I love. No matter where you are in life, what you have lost, or what has died in you, there is a table prepared where you can feast at your heart’s desire. A spiritual feast where everything is within reach; no limits, no condemnation, no injustice. And not by way of denying what’s wrong, but in total destruction of all that is ungodlike. Consider this as a co-invite to grow along with me as I grow my hair back – both on my head and heart. For courage is needed to peacefully strive for comradeship in society.  Jacob is one hairy animal isn’t he? Consider this as inviting Jesus into your very life.

Tu n’as pas ramené cette bête poilue à la maison belle?

He said also to The Man who had invited him, “When you give a dinner or a banquet, do not invite your friends or your brothers or your relatives or rich neighbors, lest they also invite you in return and you be repaid. But when you give a feast, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed, because they cannot repay you. For you will be repaid at the resurrection of the just. Lu 14:12-14

God Bless You! And thanks to all who wished me a Happy Birthday!

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